Albert Einstein said Life is like riding a bicycle, to keep your balance you must keep moving.

Squatting with my back against the wall, my neck hanging heavy from my neck between my knees. I need to energize, I need to radiate loving, caring, harmonious energy. I am aware that I am totally functioning only on my senses, not putting mind into what I feel. United we are as we all either broken or standing on the threshold of promising what we’ll offer up for the one we love to heal. But all around me everywhere, queuing crowding, anxiously pushing, people are trying to get to the information or admission desk.

Dante and Katryn are lying next to me, tired little eyes looking up to me. They are the only ones right now that understand me when I talk. They too have been there. Liani is inside the hospital, they are busy getting her ready to move her to a general surgical ward. “Stay positive, Meraai, keep your energy at the right places and focus on love, healing and what you need to do next when it present itself to you. Things happen for a reason and the reason might not be known to you now, but it will reveal itself in time. ” Suddenly my eye caught the outline of a shadow; I lift my heavy head up and look into a friendly face of an elderly lady. She speaks in a soft and gentle Portuguese that I don’t understand. I must look like a mess. I haven’t had any sleep and my emotions still blocked but raw. As I stand up she came closer and gave me a hug. She hands me 2 wooden rings and say thank you. With the rings lying in my one hand and the other still being hold by hers she says thank you, turn around and walk slowly back into the crowding people in the street.

Sliding back against the wall, I stare at the rings and wonders what just happened. Why did she say thank you to me? Should I be thankful? Overwhelmed by my thoughts and the absence of the physical effects my thoughts normally have on my body I stare at the 2 rings. I have to get back inside with Liani, I need to be next to her. I can’t take Dante and Katryn inside the hospital with me. I can’t speak Portuguese and they might move her and then I won’t be able to find her again. My mind is racing, I need to focus on who I must call to start to organize to get Liani back to South Africa. She needs proper medical care. Its not even 6 am yet, which makes it a long 2 hours before I’ll be able to get a hold of anyone. Bertus from Outdoor Medical is already busy organizing on the South African side. Be thankful….Be thankful.

It must have been a long time that we have been sitting against the entrance wall of the hospital because when I looked up again Dante and Katryn was staring with hopeful eyes at me. They probably want to go into the shade and maybe even on some grass? As we make our way to the garden in front of the hospital, Gisela and Craig ( 2 lovely people we met by chance on the chartered boat that we took to Inhaca Island on Saturday) walked over to me. I wanted to cry of relief but still nothing physical wants to react on my thoughts. They just wanted to know if they can maybe look after Dante and Katryn for me and if I need anything to eat or drink. Blessing. Be Thankful….

Racing through the hospital doors to where I last left Liani. Empty. O my God, please, where to now? In boken Portuguese mix English, mix Afrikaans I ask everyone. No one understands me. My insides turn, my head spin, I have a nauseating feeling in my gut. My legs go down each long passage to another looking, searching. I am trying to focus on the conversations I have on my phone as I am looking for Liani. We organized a helicopter to take Liani out of Mozambique but now it won’t be possible, Mapuoto Central doesn’t have a landing for helicopters!!! I feel like shouting FUCK as loud as I can and shake the next person with a white jacket and a name tag until he or she understands what I am saying….My phone rings again. Its James Miller from MozAssist. Be thankful and content, things will happen as they should I just need to follow and do my best. I explain to him my predicament of being lost in translation and he assured me of a lady he’ll send to help me. She works in the hospital and will assist me with getting Liani. Not stopping I picked up my pace through the long and mazy corridors of the various divisions inside the hospital. My eyes observing people with broken bodies and scattered souls.

I don’t want to be here.

I don’t want to deal with this.

Why me

 I need to get to Liani.

A sudden pull at my elbow made me turn around with messy confused look on my face. I stare into the warm welcome eyes. “Hallo, Good day, James asked me to come and help you.” A wave of relief wash through me, again my legs feel numb and I am out of breath. As thorough and polite as I can I ask tell her that Liani isn’t where they said she would be and I don’t know where I can find her now. My phone rings again, it’s the Red Cross in Cape Town. Wanting to know Liani’s medical scheme details. I haven’t called the Red Cross, why does she need this info, and why Cape Town?

Now, following the friendly lady as she makes her way through doors and corridors asking personnel where Miss Broodryk is, I try and keep a composed voice speaking to the Red Cross lady, with another phone call coming in. I worry about Dante and Katryn, they don’t know Gisela and Craig that well, and Gisela and Craig don’t know them. As politely as I can I cut the Red Cross lady short after giving her the info she needs and switch to the other call. Its Liani’s sister. Again, trying to stay composed and calm, I explain to her what happened and how Liani was doing last time I saw her at around 4am or 5 am, I can’t remember. But I don’t want her to get overly worried and paranoid which will just add fuel to this confusing fire. Still following the friendly lady James sent, another phone call comes in. NetCare911 from Johannesburg. I say goodbye to Liani’s sister and assure her that I am doing my at most best to get Liani out Mozambique and that she’ll be fine.

I don’t like hospitals.

I don’t like pain and suffering

As I am speaking to a lady from Netcare911 we made our last flight of stairs up. Down a long corridor with many doors and broken people inside and there, Liani!! Liani! Liani! In unbelievable pain and discomfort but breathing. I cut the conversation short with the lady of Netcare, she now has enough info. I made my way past lots of beds all with sick people to Liani.

My heart goes out to my best friend. This person that I have come to love so much, The person who showed me to love. To trust. To be, to light up the world with all my being. To be the change that we want to see in the world. To belief.

Why

Why

Liani

She grabs a hold of my hand, not to ever let go again. I radiate as much love and healing as I can. I speak to her only of beauty and comfort. Its uncomfortable to sit, lie, or stand for her and we walk slowly up and down the corridor to the ladies room and back. Everytime we get back to her bed, either her pillow, or mattress or sheet are gone. The ladies, about 20, who share the ward with her knows how things are done in this hospital. You grab what you can and look after yourself. You don’t leave you bed with any comforts, it will be gone when you get back. My phone rings and organizing conversations takes place. Liani is in loads of pain. The doctors have cleared her and said that she only has a heavy concussion but I know, I feel something is not right. She speaks wildly of pain and discomfort all over. She is very confused and don’t know where she is. She doesn’t know how she got here.

I feel like a small lost child trapped in a nightmare that no one wants to wake me up out of. My phone’s battery is almost flat. I don’t have a charger and I need to make phone calls to get Liani out of here and to better medical care.

A sister comes in and says that she’s going to give Liani a sedative to sleep, she needs to stay calm and still. I don’t want her to make her sleep. I want to hear my friend’s voice. I want to whisper words of beauty and love, and healing to her.

Slowly Liani drowse of to a calm sleep. Dante and Katryn!!! My phone’s battery is flat and I am hoping that it’ll still have enough power left to give Gisela a ring to find out about my kids.

They are waiting for me in the garden in front of the hospital when I called. Gisela thought that I need to eat something and wanted to know if there is anything else I need. How is Liani doing?Dante and Katryn didn’t want to get out anywhere and also didn’t want to eat or drink anything she gave them. I feel small again. I need to be strong now. I need to focus and do what needs to be done. I told Gisela that I am not hungry but need to get a phone charger. For an HTC phone. Not the most frequent type of phone the sell in Maputo. She offered to go and get me a charger while I give Dante and Katryn some attention and love and some Kentucky she bought them.

Sitting on the grass with my kids while they eat and drink my phone died while talking to yet another Netcare 911 operator, the 4rth operator from Netcare911.Everytime they want to know the same things, because the previous operator didn’t hand over the file, or they didn’t realize that I was speaking to them from Maputo in Mozambique or its not their division….Dante and Katryn came lying with their heads on my chest as we lie on the grass. I want to hold them and stay with them but I also want to get back to Liani.Less than an hour past when Gisela stopped with a car charger for my phone. Strange how this vibrant, loving, caring stranger knows. As we walked to her bakkie to charge my phone and put Dante and Katryn back in the bakkie I thought about the lady who gave me the 2 “thankful” wooden rings. There is so much to be grateful for, even in these circumstances.

I decided to leave my phone in her bakkie for a short while to charge and to get back to Liani. Saying goodbye and giving love to my kids I grabbed the fruit juice and mash and gravy she bought for Liani. Again I try to make my way through the confusing mazy hospital divisions, getting lost but finally marking landmarks, hospital bench here, morgue, here, Surgical ward to my left. Its humid and hot. My shirt cling to my body. The sweat dripping down my neck.

Liani is waking up and are very uncomfortable, she is paler than before. I know however that she’ll be fine. She is now getting stronger, getting better. The accident is now past tense. She is breathing, breathing. Grateful I sank into the chair next to her bed. Watching her, holding her, whispering thankful words of love. I have a confident strong be that we are going to be fine. Its hectic now but it’ll change in the near future. She mumbles as she slowly wakes up. She needs to go to the ladies again. Disorientated I help her up and slowly we start to make our way to the ladies. She is in incredible pain. I feel for her. I want to change places with her. I do pain better than she does. She is a small little girl who must not get injured or hurt in any way. She speaks from a delirious place. Pray, Maria, Pray. She is fine, all is well. This too shall pass.

After a while Gisela brought my phone back and I listened to all the messages, Netcare 911 is totally confused. I started to call back and organize again. At about 4pm Netcare 911 Johannesburg I spoke to yet another operator who doesn’t know our situation. My patience now finished, I started to tell him exactly what he is going to do now without me hanging up. Eugene. He was so sweet and helpful. We organized that he will organize Liani’s admission in Nelspruit at Medi Clinic and I will find an ambulance form Mozambique to take her there.

Thoughts rushed through my head, where am I going to find an ambulance this time of day in Maputo? I phone Bertus, James and both of them told me that I should try and get a hold of Netcare Mozambique. I called Gisela and ask if it’s possible for her to please drive me to them because they don’t answer their phones. As we got there Bertus have already called them and an ambulance was on standby, within half an hour they’ll have skilled people and an ambulance to take Liani to Nelspruit. They just have to have the go ahead from Nelspruit hospital. Relieved I climbed back in Gisela’s bakkie to go back to Liani. My phone rang and it’s Eugene with the go ahead. Things are now happening after a long almost 24 hours. Netcare Mozambique assured me they’ll be at the hospital to pick Liani up in less than 30min. We rushed through traffic and finally arrived back at the hospital. I left Dante and Katryn with Gisela as I made my way back to Liani to go and share the good news. By now she is frantic of the pain and complaining about her bladder. All sorts of weird thoughts raced through my mind. What if they didn’t check for internal bleeding….but somewhere from deep inside me a voice said that she’ll be fine. She is good. You need to get her out of this hospital and back into South Africa.

The ambulance arrived at 17:15 after meeting the people who will take her to Nelspruit in the ambulance a sea of relief wash over me. I realized that I haven’t slept since the accident. I still need to get myself, Dante and Katryn and our bikes over the border. But for now, all is well, Liani is going to be good. She is in capable hands and I trust the universe.

As the ambulance left with Liani and walked over to Dante and Katryn. They look bewildered. I have to stay strong. God let me feel and tap into my inner strength.

Today, 5 months after the accident I am grateful for all the good that happens in our lives. Liani has been an inspiration yet again to me. The manner in which she kept on believing and stayed positive has been a pillar of strength that inspires me. I am grateful to be able to say that in a month's time we'll be back on the road again and we'll be joining in on the good vibe of the Soccer World Cup before we'll carry on with our Southern African expedition educating, inspiring and motivating for change in our WATERways...We are what we think and it has a profound impact on our direct environment which includes our water resources...